Note: This list represents the first fifty rules and represents the list that is on my office door.
- Technology fails.*
- Technology especially fails when you especially need it.
- If this was easy, anybody could do it.
- We are all adults. You do not need to ask for the “hall pass” to go out.
- Frustration is sometimes part of the normal course of learning.
- Never assume anything.
- There are things more important than the class.
- The best-laid lesson plans get thrown out in the fog of instruction.
- Knowledge is best applied with a sledgehammer.
- A simple question sometimes saves a lot of confusion.
- Listening is an under-appreciated skill.
- There’s nothing wrong with reading all of the instructions first before starting your work. It’s going to save you time in the long run.
- Pre-production is the most vital step in completing any work. (You don’t put a saddle on a horse before you know if she can be ridden.)
- Do not reinvent the wheel.
- However, you can have your own style of wheel.
- When thrown in a situation where everything changes quickly, and you have no idea what’s going on, it’s all hands on deck, everybody keeps their heads and just get through it.
- Never get into “Rule 16” situations.
- Pizza is the expected payment for resolving a “Rule 16” situation.
- Noble experiments must be done in the spirit of quo vadimus.
- A lack of planning on your part will not create panic on my part.
- Write it down before you forget it.
- Remember where you put the list you wrote on.
- Don’t believe everything you…….fnord!
- Keeping paper and pens in your bathroom helps to capture good ideas and great concepts
- There is always a power structure in any environment. Learn it so you can avoid pissing off the wrong people.
- Yelling is a sign of weakness.
- Yesterday’s $100 shirt is tomorrow’s rag.
- Trust the people that are closest to the project…
- but, check the work.
- Know your limitations.
- Do not let your limitations stop you.
- 3:2:1 is not just a good idea, it’s the law. You must remember to back up correctly or else.
- Three is a magic number.
- Never taunt the person whose pen writes your grade.
- You can always say no.
- You will always forget Rule 35.
- When using a Swiss Army Knife, do not use the corkscrew tool like a hammer
- The universe is held together by chicken wire, bubblegum, and duct tape. Please do not pick at any of these support structures.
- If it’s a funeral, let’s have the best funeral ever.
- Sometimes you play the role of mystic, sometimes ringmaster. Typically, it is best when you are a rock.
- Nothing surprises me anymore.
- Don’t Panic! ~Douglas Adams
- This is the way to happiness… ~Brian Browne Walker
- Enjoy the victories because they tend to be short-lived.
- Fear is the enemy that needs to be defeated.
- The nagging doubt that there is something out there that will derail your day, month, year does not go away.
- Comics, memes, and gifs that resonate with you often speak to a larger universal truth.
- You will discover that finding that larger universal truth is cool but ultimately not very rewarding.
- You will always find a typo/error/epic fail regardless of how many times you proofread, edit and look over your work.
- Organizing your understanding of the world into a series of law, rules, theses or edicts makes for amazing billboard material.
*1a.) The Shannon Jack Derivative states that just because technology fails does not mean you shouldn’t be ready to go on without the given piece of technology.
*1b.) The Austin Gammell Derivative states that at some point in life you will fail technology.
